It was Sunday morning and we got talking about how it's been a while since we ate out. These days newspapers, magazines, travel and news channels all seem to be talking about food, good food. The Times of India even comes out with regular updates of its Good Food Guide booklet. What made it a done deal was Kunal Vijaykar's Sunday morning show The Foodie on Times Now.
My wife and I decided that's it; we have to eat out today. Once that decision was made came the mouth-watering but laborious task of narrowing down on a mutually agreeable restaurant.
We thought Italian, disucssed Mexican, travelled through Chinese lanes, sniffed at imaginary Thai delicacies, wondered about Lebanese, and drew pizzas and burgers on paper. By now you must have decided what a wonky couple. I agree, we are more than wonky. Imagine what happens when two indecisive Librans decide to set a common agenda.
But wait, there is a twist in the tale. Any guesses on what we settled for? Surprise, Surprise... it was good, old, clean Udipi food. That decision taken, we landed at a restaurant called Woodlands near Juhu beach in the north-western Mumbai suburb of Vile Parle.
The setting was decent but not out of the ordinary. As we drank water we discussed the ambience, compared it with many a new-age joint and found it was bit wanting. But what the
heck, we were there to eat the food and not the ambience.
As many others we first settled for the Idli-Vada samabar routine. That's one thing my friends and relatives find funny. You see, for TamBrams, idli is a home affair. So most of the people who know me find it funny that I go to a restaurant and order something that is made at home almost every second day. To them I say, can't help it, I am addicted.
Then it was time for the main course. I settled for a Bissibele bath, while my wife ordered a Mysore Masala dosa. The food was excellent, the service to die for. I am yet to see waiters in the fancier restaurants that I have visited serve me like they do in mst Udipis, with love and a smile straight from the heart. I guess that enhances the tase of the food, increases your appetite, and sets the mood for the day.
The service brought back memories of a fancy Chinese restaurant that we had visited a few months ago. The food was decent at the most, the charges exhorbitant, and unbelievable as it
may sound, we had to serve ourselves. It was buffet you see. It left me with the feeling of having been cheated. What idiot would want to pay 1000 bucks for an averagely decent meal and then end up serving oneself. You guessed it right, this idiot.
Back to the Sunday in question, we wound up our meal with steaming cups of filter coffee, again much better than the lattes, mochas, and cappucinos in westernized outlets. For all the food that we ate, I was pleasantly surprised when the waiter brought the bill. A grand total of Rs.240 plus taxes.
On our way back from an excellent value for money lunch, we were left thinking of the many lunches that we have had over the years at some fancy hotels. Rarely did we walk out feeling so content and satisfied. And the money had nothing to do with it.
So friends, for us when it comes to eating out nothing comes remotely close to the Udipi experience. And at least I am yet to come across anyone known to me who has been laid low by
an Udipi meal, money and otherwise.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Indian Patient
All of us must have visited a Doctor's dispensary at some point of time in life. And all of us must have observed how time becomes all important the moment patients enter a clinic.
Why do we visit a doctor? I guess because we are ill. And logically when we are ill aren't we supposed to relax, take it easy? Then why is it that some patients always appear to be in a tearing hurry to see the doctor?
Obviously whatever one is suffering from ain't life threatening 9 of 10 times if we have walked into the clinic to meet the physician. Then why is it that some patients give others the look of I have more important things to do in life than you; so why don't you wait while I sneak in for a quick peek?
Clinics today have become mobile business centers. Cellphones are ringing from all sides. Imagine the plight of the very ill, the discomfort that the different shrill tones cause. And the misery doesn't end there. You will get to hear everything from the prices of shares, to how Bush is ruining the world, all within the confines of a 10 x 10 clinic. Speaking softly is not a virtue, especially if we are tying to look important.
Amid all these conversations most patients have an eye on the Doctor's door and a foot ready to charge. It's almost like a mini battle being waged; who outhinks the other, who is quicker on his feet than others.
What happened to ethics. People must have taken appointments, many must be waiting for hours. So what gives a few the right to assume that they are the chosen ones and hence should have the right to see the doctor the moment they land?
Seventy, eighty year olds are waiting patiently while twenty somethings are pacing up and down, trying to bribe their way past compounders or charm their way in if muscle tactics fail. And their reasons for the hurry are as varied from not wanting to miss a movie to reaching for some dinner party on time. My question: if they are fine enough to watch a movie in an airconditioned auditorium, attend dinner parties, then why are they wasting their time and testing the patience of people who are there because they are unwell.
It's interesting times that we live in. Health is wealth we say, but many do not spare time to mend a tired body or a fatigued mind. All of us are in a hurry. But when will we stop to realize that to enjoy life, one has to be alive and healthy. Or are we willingly courting death in our quest to Live Life King Size?
Why do we visit a doctor? I guess because we are ill. And logically when we are ill aren't we supposed to relax, take it easy? Then why is it that some patients always appear to be in a tearing hurry to see the doctor?
Obviously whatever one is suffering from ain't life threatening 9 of 10 times if we have walked into the clinic to meet the physician. Then why is it that some patients give others the look of I have more important things to do in life than you; so why don't you wait while I sneak in for a quick peek?
Clinics today have become mobile business centers. Cellphones are ringing from all sides. Imagine the plight of the very ill, the discomfort that the different shrill tones cause. And the misery doesn't end there. You will get to hear everything from the prices of shares, to how Bush is ruining the world, all within the confines of a 10 x 10 clinic. Speaking softly is not a virtue, especially if we are tying to look important.
Amid all these conversations most patients have an eye on the Doctor's door and a foot ready to charge. It's almost like a mini battle being waged; who outhinks the other, who is quicker on his feet than others.
What happened to ethics. People must have taken appointments, many must be waiting for hours. So what gives a few the right to assume that they are the chosen ones and hence should have the right to see the doctor the moment they land?
Seventy, eighty year olds are waiting patiently while twenty somethings are pacing up and down, trying to bribe their way past compounders or charm their way in if muscle tactics fail. And their reasons for the hurry are as varied from not wanting to miss a movie to reaching for some dinner party on time. My question: if they are fine enough to watch a movie in an airconditioned auditorium, attend dinner parties, then why are they wasting their time and testing the patience of people who are there because they are unwell.
It's interesting times that we live in. Health is wealth we say, but many do not spare time to mend a tired body or a fatigued mind. All of us are in a hurry. But when will we stop to realize that to enjoy life, one has to be alive and healthy. Or are we willingly courting death in our quest to Live Life King Size?
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Is Water, Food, Clothing, And Shelter Only For The Rich?
Isn't being born on Earth supposed to come with some privileges? All of them basic such as water to drink, food to eat, a place to stay, and clothes to wear.
Then why is it that more than 50% of the world's people are deprived of these needs?
We human beings take pride in success and nothing succeeds like succes. A classic example of this point is Team India. In March, most of them would have been scared to even venture out of their homes for fear of being attacked. The reason: a first round exit at the 50-50 World Cup. Today, the Chief Minister of Maharashtra is going to Mumbai AIrport to receive them and the players are going to be then taken in a motorcade to the Wankhede Stadium to be felicitated. The reason: we are the T20 World Champions.
As a reader you would be wondering what's the connection. I assure you there is a strong one.
We as a race have used success as the benchmark for survival. We proudly spout Darwin's Survival of the Fittest theory. My question: Is suffering and misery the only rewards for those who ain't as succesful or as gifted as some of us? It's a different issue that the successful also suffer and most waddle in miseries of the imaginary kind.
Have we as a people become a inhuman race? So much so that we do not bat an eyelid or spare a thought while profiting from the suffering of others?
Am I to assume that if I am very ill and do not have the money, then the only option for me is to die? Aren't hospitals supposed to care for the ill? Isn't medicine supposed to be a noble profession? Or is there nothing noble in today's world that ain't a for profit?
Homeless children roam our streets scavenging, shifting junk in dustbins to find a morsel to eat. It ain't vastly different in villages where kids are dying of hunger while the rest of the world is busy packaging food for a profit.
Most people do not have drinking water, while a few are profiting from bottling this very life saving commodity. Most people do not have a decent roof over their heads (please do not call slums homes), while a few are busy pocketing and selling vast tracts of land for a cost that most can't afford.
So is water, food, clothing, and shelter only for the rich? What happened to the basic rights of people to these essentials?
Please do not tell me that people need to work hard to get these things and please do not quote religious texts to tell me one should not be bothered about the fruits of labor or it's one's karma. Most people who do not have one or more of these essentials work harder that most in air-conditioned offices who surf the net to appear busy.
These are convenient answers to mask crimes committed by a few on the many.
We cite proudly as enterprise how Dhirubhai Ambani in his early days melted currency coins in Uganda because the gold that came out of those coins were worth more than the value of the denomination on those coins.
Ambani senior had questioned "Is it a crime to make money?" I say no. But yes it is a crime to profit from the misery of mankind. And we all know that it ain't possible to be super rich if one is squeaky clean.
So what are we celebrating here, the enterprise of corruption and crime? Were the same things to be done by a desperate farmer or beggar, the poor fellow would not have expereinced freedom for the rest of his life.
As answers to most of my queries we will cite government inefficiencies and a whole lot of other reasons. But to me it nothing but the plain greed of a few. The day we started acknowledging sleight of hand as enterprise, the day started recognizing wealth as God, we as humans failed God.
You can call my writing a crib, you can call it waste of web space, but once you finish reading it, I assure you none, including me, can walk away free of guilt of not having succumbed to the lure of wealth. So much for the right to live!
Then why is it that more than 50% of the world's people are deprived of these needs?
We human beings take pride in success and nothing succeeds like succes. A classic example of this point is Team India. In March, most of them would have been scared to even venture out of their homes for fear of being attacked. The reason: a first round exit at the 50-50 World Cup. Today, the Chief Minister of Maharashtra is going to Mumbai AIrport to receive them and the players are going to be then taken in a motorcade to the Wankhede Stadium to be felicitated. The reason: we are the T20 World Champions.
As a reader you would be wondering what's the connection. I assure you there is a strong one.
We as a race have used success as the benchmark for survival. We proudly spout Darwin's Survival of the Fittest theory. My question: Is suffering and misery the only rewards for those who ain't as succesful or as gifted as some of us? It's a different issue that the successful also suffer and most waddle in miseries of the imaginary kind.
Have we as a people become a inhuman race? So much so that we do not bat an eyelid or spare a thought while profiting from the suffering of others?
Am I to assume that if I am very ill and do not have the money, then the only option for me is to die? Aren't hospitals supposed to care for the ill? Isn't medicine supposed to be a noble profession? Or is there nothing noble in today's world that ain't a for profit?
Homeless children roam our streets scavenging, shifting junk in dustbins to find a morsel to eat. It ain't vastly different in villages where kids are dying of hunger while the rest of the world is busy packaging food for a profit.
Most people do not have drinking water, while a few are profiting from bottling this very life saving commodity. Most people do not have a decent roof over their heads (please do not call slums homes), while a few are busy pocketing and selling vast tracts of land for a cost that most can't afford.
So is water, food, clothing, and shelter only for the rich? What happened to the basic rights of people to these essentials?
Please do not tell me that people need to work hard to get these things and please do not quote religious texts to tell me one should not be bothered about the fruits of labor or it's one's karma. Most people who do not have one or more of these essentials work harder that most in air-conditioned offices who surf the net to appear busy.
These are convenient answers to mask crimes committed by a few on the many.
We cite proudly as enterprise how Dhirubhai Ambani in his early days melted currency coins in Uganda because the gold that came out of those coins were worth more than the value of the denomination on those coins.
Ambani senior had questioned "Is it a crime to make money?" I say no. But yes it is a crime to profit from the misery of mankind. And we all know that it ain't possible to be super rich if one is squeaky clean.
So what are we celebrating here, the enterprise of corruption and crime? Were the same things to be done by a desperate farmer or beggar, the poor fellow would not have expereinced freedom for the rest of his life.
As answers to most of my queries we will cite government inefficiencies and a whole lot of other reasons. But to me it nothing but the plain greed of a few. The day we started acknowledging sleight of hand as enterprise, the day started recognizing wealth as God, we as humans failed God.
You can call my writing a crib, you can call it waste of web space, but once you finish reading it, I assure you none, including me, can walk away free of guilt of not having succumbed to the lure of wealth. So much for the right to live!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Lonely Child
I saw a baby in the park
Playing all by herself
I looked for her mother
And found a servant instead
My mind traveled into the past
To the same old park
I saw my sister at play
With kids of her age I say
They laughed, they sang
They pushed one other to the ground
The air was ringing with joy
Of little hearts playing in happiness
Mothers seated on benches
Rejoicing the sea innocence
Exchanging notes and sweets
Describing many a anecdote
I hear the screech of tyres
It's back to the future
In front of me the lonely child
With none to play and a servant in tow
Playing all by herself
I looked for her mother
And found a servant instead
My mind traveled into the past
To the same old park
I saw my sister at play
With kids of her age I say
They laughed, they sang
They pushed one other to the ground
The air was ringing with joy
Of little hearts playing in happiness
Mothers seated on benches
Rejoicing the sea innocence
Exchanging notes and sweets
Describing many a anecdote
I hear the screech of tyres
It's back to the future
In front of me the lonely child
With none to play and a servant in tow
House Warning
How does one describe residential complexes of today? Matchbox houses, community homes that look so identical that they would make Prakash Karat and company proud (you see equality is their USP), or dog pens?
I was looking at an advertisement placed by a large recently-listed builder in one of the national newspapers. The builder claimed to be selling dreams not homes. One look at the picture that went with the ad and I realized how true.
It was indeed a dream that was on offer. But an ugly looking one. There stood a giant structure with maybe over a 1000 flats. It reminded me of some of those sci-fi flicks where for some strange reason writers and directors depict aliens as gory creatures living in frighteningly monstrous abodes.
I took another look at that ad and this time what caught my attention was the scheme. Pay Rs.50,000 and take home the key. Yes, I said to myself, the rest we will keep sucking in EMIs. If I were to buy the house outright it will cost me Rs.12 million. If I opt for the EMI, Rs30 million. I guess that's a conservative estimate.
Rs. 12 million for this pig pen, I asked myself. The communists would have been proud at the construction, but would have seen a US hand in the pricing. The monster breaks down all walls of differenciation. Each house looking a mirror image of the next. Two we call a twin, so what do we call a 1000? A freak show, I say.
So now we will have 1000 more families living together in similar prison sells. Living the great urban dream. How I yearn for the time when each home had an individual feel and look. Yet there was unity in diversity.
Today, we are united in greed, divided at heart. How times are a changing. I know change is the only constant and out of chaos will emerge sanity. But I rue the passing of innocence, the coming of deception. But there is hope as I await the return of innocence. Maybe in vain, but there is great joy in letting hope float.
I was looking at an advertisement placed by a large recently-listed builder in one of the national newspapers. The builder claimed to be selling dreams not homes. One look at the picture that went with the ad and I realized how true.
It was indeed a dream that was on offer. But an ugly looking one. There stood a giant structure with maybe over a 1000 flats. It reminded me of some of those sci-fi flicks where for some strange reason writers and directors depict aliens as gory creatures living in frighteningly monstrous abodes.
I took another look at that ad and this time what caught my attention was the scheme. Pay Rs.50,000 and take home the key. Yes, I said to myself, the rest we will keep sucking in EMIs. If I were to buy the house outright it will cost me Rs.12 million. If I opt for the EMI, Rs30 million. I guess that's a conservative estimate.
Rs. 12 million for this pig pen, I asked myself. The communists would have been proud at the construction, but would have seen a US hand in the pricing. The monster breaks down all walls of differenciation. Each house looking a mirror image of the next. Two we call a twin, so what do we call a 1000? A freak show, I say.
So now we will have 1000 more families living together in similar prison sells. Living the great urban dream. How I yearn for the time when each home had an individual feel and look. Yet there was unity in diversity.
Today, we are united in greed, divided at heart. How times are a changing. I know change is the only constant and out of chaos will emerge sanity. But I rue the passing of innocence, the coming of deception. But there is hope as I await the return of innocence. Maybe in vain, but there is great joy in letting hope float.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Season Of Love
There's love in the air
It's that time of the year
The rain's bidding adieu
There's hope in the air
Give in to its call this fall
It's the season of peace
Looking at us with hope
Begging us to yield to its call
Will we rise together
Listen to the heart's call
Give life a new chance'
And embrace the season of love
Will we move with the times
Or watch time pass us by
Will it be the usual if
Or will it be a season of love
As trees shed dry leaves
And await a new beginning
Will the world shed its fears
And give love a chance
Time and tide waits for none
Will it be a moment wasted again
Or will we open our hearts to love
This season of love
It's that time of the year
The rain's bidding adieu
There's hope in the air
Give in to its call this fall
It's the season of peace
Looking at us with hope
Begging us to yield to its call
Will we rise together
Listen to the heart's call
Give life a new chance'
And embrace the season of love
Will we move with the times
Or watch time pass us by
Will it be the usual if
Or will it be a season of love
As trees shed dry leaves
And await a new beginning
Will the world shed its fears
And give love a chance
Time and tide waits for none
Will it be a moment wasted again
Or will we open our hearts to love
This season of love
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Indo-Pak Joint Agreement
What if Indian and Pakistani leaders have a high level meeting wherein they come to an understanding on how to live and let live? The manifesto of the survival guide will read somewhat as below.
1) We will mutually agree from time to time to rake up irrelevant cross-border issues to divert attention form pressing internal matters.
2) Pakistan will every three months send a few thousand armed men across the border into Jammu & Kashmir. This will help Pakistan to reduce religious pressure at home. India will benefit by having a reason to post its army in J&K. The army will be gainfuly employed in hunting and eliminating the Pakistani intruders. A win-win situation for both Pakistan and India.
3) India will allow Pakistan to send arms experts to carry out a series of bomb experiments across India once every 7 to 8 months. The twin benefit: it will help Pakistan research and develop newer bomb technologies while the explosions will help India curb it's burgeoning population.
4) India and Pakistan will agree to disagree on the Siachen issue. That will help the armies of both nations to gainfuly employ men across this inhospitable terrain. Also another diversionary tactic for both countries to ward off public attention from more pressing internal matters.
5) Both countries will compulsively indulge in an arms race. The benefits: possibly one day both India and Pakistan will have enough arms and ammunition, nuclear or otherwise, to obliterate the Rest of the World. That fear, they hope will give them the bargaining power to force America and allies to accord India and Pakistan Superpower status.
6) Politicians of both countries will agree to mutually cooperate in the procurement of arms from suppliers known to them so that kickbacks are higher, and the fear of the news of kickbacks getting into wrong hands is near zero.
7) Both countries will shift attention to Bangladesh. Pakistan will shift all training camps to Bangladesh soil and India will eventually shift all troops along the Bangla border. The benefit: It's more easier to contain the situation if things get out of hand and also have a whipping boy in Bangladesh if things go wrong.
8) Pakistan will help India forge better ties with China. For India, the worry on the Arunachal Pradesh front is reduced. For Pakistan, China will act as a stronger deterent in case of escalation of tensions with India.
9) Indian politicans want the whole of J&K to be Indian, Pakistani politicians want the whole territory to be Pakistani. The Kashmiris want Independence. But who cares what the Kashmiris want. (Kashmiri Pandits, your position is like that of Tibetans. So no point in protesting or harboring hopes of going back to Kashmir. Find accomodation and gainful employment in other parts of India.) The solution: Pakistan will keep sending armed men, India will maintain troops, though at a minimum. Once in a while we will mutally agree to escalate tension. Otherwise, we will keep snipping at each other. This will be called the Great Art of Peaceful Mutual Disagreement. The logic: it's better than fighting a costly war.
In short, Indian and Pakistani politicians will live happily ever after. Damn the people of both countries.
1) We will mutually agree from time to time to rake up irrelevant cross-border issues to divert attention form pressing internal matters.
2) Pakistan will every three months send a few thousand armed men across the border into Jammu & Kashmir. This will help Pakistan to reduce religious pressure at home. India will benefit by having a reason to post its army in J&K. The army will be gainfuly employed in hunting and eliminating the Pakistani intruders. A win-win situation for both Pakistan and India.
3) India will allow Pakistan to send arms experts to carry out a series of bomb experiments across India once every 7 to 8 months. The twin benefit: it will help Pakistan research and develop newer bomb technologies while the explosions will help India curb it's burgeoning population.
4) India and Pakistan will agree to disagree on the Siachen issue. That will help the armies of both nations to gainfuly employ men across this inhospitable terrain. Also another diversionary tactic for both countries to ward off public attention from more pressing internal matters.
5) Both countries will compulsively indulge in an arms race. The benefits: possibly one day both India and Pakistan will have enough arms and ammunition, nuclear or otherwise, to obliterate the Rest of the World. That fear, they hope will give them the bargaining power to force America and allies to accord India and Pakistan Superpower status.
6) Politicians of both countries will agree to mutually cooperate in the procurement of arms from suppliers known to them so that kickbacks are higher, and the fear of the news of kickbacks getting into wrong hands is near zero.
7) Both countries will shift attention to Bangladesh. Pakistan will shift all training camps to Bangladesh soil and India will eventually shift all troops along the Bangla border. The benefit: It's more easier to contain the situation if things get out of hand and also have a whipping boy in Bangladesh if things go wrong.
8) Pakistan will help India forge better ties with China. For India, the worry on the Arunachal Pradesh front is reduced. For Pakistan, China will act as a stronger deterent in case of escalation of tensions with India.
9) Indian politicans want the whole of J&K to be Indian, Pakistani politicians want the whole territory to be Pakistani. The Kashmiris want Independence. But who cares what the Kashmiris want. (Kashmiri Pandits, your position is like that of Tibetans. So no point in protesting or harboring hopes of going back to Kashmir. Find accomodation and gainful employment in other parts of India.) The solution: Pakistan will keep sending armed men, India will maintain troops, though at a minimum. Once in a while we will mutally agree to escalate tension. Otherwise, we will keep snipping at each other. This will be called the Great Art of Peaceful Mutual Disagreement. The logic: it's better than fighting a costly war.
In short, Indian and Pakistani politicians will live happily ever after. Damn the people of both countries.
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